Sunday 31 December 2006

I ascend the Aventine hill

art and cooking holidays in Italy
Ahhhh ! silent streets of Rome - brown bag with Sabuca, Olives 3 beers and some cherries. (Oh I waish I could find a Belgian fruit beer, I have a peculiar craving !) - not the new streets required by our hussling modern age, but the isolated lonely streets which still retain some flavour of the past. A past I like to think I can find by wandering for hours in my new EMO clothes and attitude. There is no noise and bustle, just quiet and solitude and raw emotion on my part - not necessarily anyone else walking around. Roads like Clivo dei Publici and Clivo di Rocca Savella - Clivo means slope by the way, and these two both ascend the Aventine hill (see my picture - a representation of what my day looked like after too much Sambuca and beer and olives and cherries - but no Belgian fruit beer worst luck).

In the 18th century this Aventine area belonged to monasteries and rich families (like the Goldman Sachs bonus receivers of yesteryear) and the narrow street was flanked by low walls interrupted by fine gates and it still looks and feels old as the hills (and it is a hill) ! So I slouch around Clivo di Rocca Savella which was for centuries the main access to the Aventine and was an early important street of Rome because apparently a pope, a member of the Savelli family, preferred to hold the papal court in the family fortress at the top of the street . This street is open only in day time so I cannot slouch through it at night.

I've done much walking - ready to drop into a stupour - that is all I can manage today - Viva Rome - I will stay here for a few more days - now to sleep - but first one more Sambuca and OH Oh OH OH

Tomorrow is New years eve and I intend to have one heck of a day - I suggest you do to

Ciaou for now

Esten xxx

Friday 29 December 2006

New low so decide to go EMO indie

Indie Emo look for me from now on ! thick framed glasses and tight pants ! dark denim jacket and converse shoes ooooooh yess  -
I am feeling emotional since Petra left and I guess that is why I think I also need an emotional change to my wardrobe. So I am steeling myself to get some Italian hair dye, or get hair dye in an Italian shop more likely in this Global village and get myself dyed-black hair (cut short by yours truly because I will not pay a hairdresser and I cannot speak good enough Italian) . I will use gel to go spikey in the back and keep the overall look slightly greasy. I will be working on the guts to get piercings - quite a few I think. And I will be wearing beads and assorted jewelry. I do not need glasses but I fancy some thick black frames around my eyes so I will try to find a pair with straight glass - or may be its like Boots in England and I can get a really weak pair of reading glasses. I will wear my faded blue and grey T-shirt with the words "CRANK" and "SLUT" on it, that I got at Barking Red Cross, and my dark denim jean jacket. I will sport a messenger bag (when I find one) and blag some badges form somewhere to make it look like I go to loads of gigs and happenings (I suppose they will have to be mainly Italian !). Oh and my trousers will be ball breaking tight ! and my shoes, of course my Blue converse swankies with the acrylic purple paint splash on the left one that I cannot get off.

Pretty neat eh ?
I like Rome by the way - have meandered sadly through these crazy streets and eaten too much Pasta - drunk chianti many a time and generally enjoyed being melancholy.

Thursday 28 December 2006

Petra leaves me after all day Spongebob session

Try fishing in Portugal - Carp and Catfish are particularly good - the fish are jumping ! Phew ! - All day yesterday was spent by me and Petra watching Spongebob Squarepants in Italian back to back on cable !. I quite enjoyed just vegetating to that while young Italian boys and girls tripped into the TV room at the Hotel Aberdeen where we are staying and two had very nasty falls. One little girl, Carlotta, was carrying a fruit bowl with some particularly nice fruit - satsumas and apples and things, then that Krab man with the restaurant the krusty crab (not krusty the clown - thats the simpsons, what is it with this krusty thing anyway - discuss !) makes some kind of loud noise because he is going to lose all his money and Carlotta trips up and the fruit goes flying. She got a nasty gash on her knee and I got an apple - they were not meant for us - so I did OK but she had to be plastered up. Talking of getting plastered, Thats what we did in the TV room and it was a bit embarrassing because Guiseppe who owns the hotel does not like that, so we go shouted at a few times for laughing too loudly and in a drunken manner and he said (he speaks quite good english when he is angry) that we must not do sick on his settee. Petra said that he could rest in peace because we do not do that kind of thing and anyway we were drinking responsibly which was a lie.
Today we had headaches and then - just like a dream - Petra walks out and says she has had enough of moping around with a Barking boy in Rome and wants to see the other side of life somewhere else and with someone else - so I am pretty miserable now and groping for reality. Still she was a bit of a pain and I was just not getting things done like I thought I might on this adventure of a lifetime so I have decided to be philisophical abou it and take it on the chin - lets see how I feel about it tomorrow !

Tuesday 26 December 2006

Boxing Day Blues - need air

Still alive - christmas day was crap - half a rabbit and some olives is not what I call festive. John Belushi shouting at me in my whiskey fuelled dreams and Petra screaming because the supermarket is not open. I decided to wear a kilt all day and the hotel staff were bemused. I kicked a dog , ate too many chocolate frogs and felt sick. So, Its Boxing day and now everything is fine - look forward to tomorrow and normality in Rome. May try to get out to the countryside, need fresh air. Starting to feel stifled here in the city, need air, need air, cant breathe , need air.

Sunday 24 December 2006

Loren at Christmas

Sophia Loren at Christmas in Rome - well Esten Walker in Rome thinking of Sophia Loren - . Ahh! Rome - lets talk about Sophia Loren, she was great wasnt she ? Here is some of her homespun philosophy whuch beats me rabbiting on about liquorice or Port. The snarl on Petra's face as I go on about this god of Italian cinema grows snarlier by the minute. So anyway, Bassetts make a mean allsort. Its Christmas Eve, we are all allowed to dream, and Bob Cratchett and Tiny Tim dreamt so I can too. I am no Scrooge, neither bah humbug or the nice turkey buying man who enthusiastically showered money after seeing those ghosts - nightcap please - thanks Petra dear - always a scotch on christmas eve. NICE. Here is some Loren quotes :

“The two big advantages I had at birth were to have been born wise and to have been born in poverty.”

“When I was a child, fear was common to my life—fear of having nothing to eat, fear of the other children taunting me at school because I was illegitimate, and particularly fear of the big bombers appearing overhead and dropping their lethal bursts from the sky.”

“I was not intrigued with the accouterments of success and fame, the furs, jewels, expensive automobiles and mansions…. I can assure you that these things were not on my mind when I sat spellbound in that Pozzuoli movie house. It was what these performers on the screen were doing, not what they received for doing it.”

“Though poor and anxious to work, I refused to alter anything. They would take me as I looked or not at all…. Eventually I profited by looking like myself and not like what was fashionable years ago with certain film technicians in Rome.”

“I was blessed with a sense of my own destiny. I have never sold myself short. I have never judged myself by other people’s standards. I have always expected a great deal of myself, and if I fail, I fail myself.”

Saturday 23 December 2006

Fat bottomed girls in Rome

Fat Bottomed Girl
Seeing as there are so many fat bottomed girls straying into my visual path here in Rome, Italy and I have finished my indoor golf tournamnet against myself (using rolled up newspaper and a light stand, I thought it would make sense to do a much needed analysis of Brian May’s delightful Queen song Fat Bottomed Girls .

Are you gonna take me home tonight
Notice he wants them to have the upper hand – he wants to be man handled
Ah down beside that red firelight
They must have a real fire, which means humping coal scuttles and being nifty with a red hot poker. I suppose one of those fake gas fires might do, but Brian is a wealthy man, I think he expects the best.
Are you gonna let it all hang out
Well, here we wonder if he means the butt or something else, there has been no netion of the fat bottom yet but the listener has been forewarned by the unambiguous title.
Fat bottomed girls
Ah here we go - Brian lets it all out of the bag himself
You make the rockin' world go round
Good play on words here as we know Brian is a rocker of some considerable pedigree, but the rockin’ he could also be referring to is the steady rocking normally necessary when in the act of lovemaking.

Hey I was just a skinny lad
He still is – Brian goes autobiographical here
Never knew no good from bad
Was he a naughty boy ? I think that is unlikely, so some poetic licence must be given here, Brian obviously wants to paint himself as a rock rebel with a James Dean past.
But I knew life before I left my nursery
So he had a nursery, and presumably he was put in there until quite an age
Left alone with big fat Fanny
His formative years have obviously been heavily influenced by this Fanny woman
She was such a naughty nanny
So his parents have a lot to answer for, keeping him in a nursery until his teens with a nymphomaniac with a large rear end.
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me
Imagine, just the two of them, a skinny, deprived teenager who, when not in his play pen, was lost in the billowing flesh of the paid help
Hey hey!
Exactly, hey up ! what the hell was going on, still he was having fun and so was she so good luck to them both and God Bless ‘em.

I've been singing with my band
Backing vocals mostly, but then Freddie had to sing this so I suppose that is fine ...
Across the wire across the land
I think this is just filler, Brian is losing his way here
I seen ev'ry blue eyed floozy on the way
Brian honed in on blue eyes only – no brown eyes here !
But their beauty and their style
So in Brians world, blue eyes equate to normal or skinny bottom, not the fat bottom he so desperately requires.
Went kind of smooth after a while
Brian wants it rough
Take me to them dirty ladies every time
Big butt, dirty butt, dirty lady, Fanny – do not forget Fanny
Oh won't you take me home tonight?
Repeated to emphasize fat bottomed dominance of his world
Oh down beside your red firelight
Red light district ?
Oh and you give it all you got
Fanny must have given it all she had
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round

Hey listen here
Brian has something important to say
Now your mortgages and homes
Is he talking to us ? – I think so
I got stiffness in the bones
He’s either getting old (which he is) or he’s got a boner
Ain't no beauty queens in this locality (I tell you)
He is just stating his own opinion ladies, don’t get shirty, remember Fanny fucked him up a bit
Oh but I still get my pleasure
Good, everyone deserves a bit of pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
Yes, we know what that is going to be
Heap big woman you gonna make a big man out of me
Thought so !
Now get this

Let’s play it out now and let Brian just ride it out …

Oh you gonna take me home tonight (please)Oh you gonna take me home tonight (please)
Oh down beside your red firelight
Oh you gonna let it all hang out
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Get on your bikes and ride

Oooh yeah them fat bottomed girls
Fat bottomed girls
Yeah yeah yeah
Fat bottomed girls
Yes yes


Song by Brian May


Good work Brian, you'd love Rome. Sorry Freddy is dead and all that.


Petra has gone walkabout for a day - and I am just holed up in bed with a cold.


I only grt up to do a Yuletide log.


Esten - Rome 23/12/2006

Friday 22 December 2006

Leather Trousers

It is nice and mild here in Rome (although freezing last night when I was out a-wanderin') and I can quite handle this double figure degrees centigrade situation. The Romans are rushing around shouting a lot - getting christmas sorted out I suppose, and Petra and I spent yesterday eating and drinking. Today we played hand tennis with an old ball in a deserted street near the hotel and three Swedish guys joined in and turned it into some kind of surrael game with no rules. I like games with no rules, or rather games that have an arbitrary set of pointless rules that can be broken at any time. The punishment for breaking pointless arbitrary rules was quite severe in this case and often involved having your head sat on, which meant a big Swedish Arse on your ear. Anyway you can see thatthis was punishment indeed. Petra is wearing a pink scarf and hat and I have leather trousers on. I love leather, I must get more. So tis may be a leather christmas. I will rush out soon and get a new leather belt.

Wednesday 20 December 2006

I'm in Rome ! shaddap-a you face


Arrived - like dead birds reborn ! in a new country - ITALY !! and here me and Petra - Oh Petra - are in the home of Pasta and Chianti - lick my lips. Still in Olive world - but a slightly different flavour although I callenge you to spot the difference - really, although there may be some serious olive buffs who can. Got here around noon and skuffed about looking for Mafiosi cosa Nostra types and generalyy looking around. Spent some time in an Arman shop annoying the assistants, and chatted with a young enlish mum who ws ove here with her five children !!. Sat in A central expensive cafe and did not worry about drinking two bottles of Sicilian Red and then hunted for a hotel. Got cold and huddled for a while on a bench. Petra decided on a little nostar effort run by a big Mama who seems freindly eough when she is not shouting. Just settling in - had a long sleep. Then brushed my filthy ragamuffin teeth, Phoned Bob and he says I have done well getting out of Athens - there is only so much he says that you can take of a Greek city. So anyway - here we are and I intend to make the most of my time here - my head is full of the noise and bustle - the buzzing of mopeds and the smell of Pizza !

Gets me Singing !

'Allo, I'm-a Giuseppe, I got-a something special-a for you, ready Uno, duo, tre, quatro When I was a boy, just about the eighth-a grade Mama used to say don't stay out-a late With the bad-a boys, always shoot-a pool Giuseppe going to flunk-a school Boy, it make-a me sick, all the t'ing I gotta do I can't-a get-a no kicks, always got to follow rules Boy, it make-a me sick, just to make-a lousy bucks Got to feel-a like a fool and-a mama used to say all-a time What's-a matter you Hey! Gotta no respect What-a you t'ink you do? Why you look-a so sad It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place Ah, shaddap-a you face That's-a my mama, I can remember Big accordion solo Ah! Play dat again, Really nice, really nice Soon-a come-a day, gonna be a big-a star Den I make-a TV shows and-a movies Get-a myself a new car, but still I be myself I don't want-a to change a t'ing, still a-dance and a-sing I t'ink about-a mama, she used to say What's-a matter you Hey! Gotta no respect What-a you t'ink you do Why you look-a so sad It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place Ah, shaddap-a you face Mama, she said it all-a da time What's-a matter you Hey Gotta no respect What-a you t'ink you do Why you look-a so sad It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place Ah, shaddap-a you face That s-a my mama Hello, everybody! 'At's out-a dere in-a radio and-a TV land Did you know I had a big-a hit-a song in-a Italy with-a disc Shaddap-a you face I sing-a dis-a song, all-a my fans applaud Dey clap-a da hands, dat-a make me feel-a so good You ought to learn-a dis-a song, it's-a real-a simple See, I sing: what's-a matter you You sing Hey Den I sing-a da rest and den at de end, we can all-a sing: Ah, Shaddap-a you face! O.k., let's-a try it, really big Uno, duo, tre, quatro What's-a matter you Hey Gotta no respect Hey What-a you t'ink you Hey do Why you look-a so sad Hey It's-a not so bad Hey it's-a nice-a place Ah, shaddap-a you face OK one more-a time for mama What's-a matter you Hey Gotta no respect Hey What-a you t'ink you Hey do Why you look-a so sad Hey It's-a not so bad Hey it's-a nice-a place Ah, shaddap-a you face

Tuesday 19 December 2006

Rome is where my heart lies

So, anyway, I have bought a ticket to Rome. A plane ticket - fies tomorrow morning at 10 am so Italy here I come. Looking forward to seeing the collessium and eating Roma ice cream even if it is December and nearly christmas. I willbe looking for any old cheap hotel with a bit of character near the centre and as I havent ever been to Rome before i will explore. I am looking forward to getting out of Athens - and the best thing is that Petra is coming along for the ride. I just phoned Bob and he told me that he was very impressed with my travels so far even though I had pnly got as far as Athens - I seemed to have travelled a long way in my head and he thinks things are looking up for me. Well thats nice aint it ?. Sharon is doing well and spends the day in her dressing gown and slippers reading Hello and OK magazines. I met an very posh Englishman hanging around in a bookshop in Athens centre and we got talking. He thought I should try Golfing Holidays in Italy seeing as I was going there and had all the free time in the world. Isaid I did not play and he showed me a few swings and said even Larry David likes golf - you know from Curb Your Enthusiasm. I see what he means - I mean Larry David is quite cool and he likes Golf - so why not use him as a role model into my middle and old age. You see Golf gets you walking about the manicured countryside with the big sandpits and the fairways.

Still, tat is not why I have gone on this big adventure, certainly not to play golf. Icannot say exactly why I am on this adventure but I know that Rome is my next stop - so here I come Italy and look out - here comes my little honey - Petra the lady with the strange therapies and bad drinking habits.

We celebrate with a few vodkas and then crash out. Sleep tight. Sleep right. Sleeeeeeep. Fall asleep. Or just snooze.

Monday 18 December 2006

Honey on the head

Covered myself in cream and hour ago. Then Petra refused to lick it and I was left to have a shower and wash it off. Went out for a run, zooming past Greek people in the old streets, but feeling quite ill when I got back. Called Bob and he told me to stop smoking and I tod him I already had - because I am on this health and fitness thing and he said "oh ? by the way Leona won the Xfactor and she is going to be very very rich" and I said "that is because she is a natural born singer" I said my goodbyes and hung up. Petra says that she would like to go to Bulgaria and Romainia but I am more interested in Italy or Portugal or India. My chequered pants have got torn and I started freaking out about it , much to my embarassment and Petra thinks I have a few hang ups that I need to exorcise. So I tell her to give me some therapy if she is so certain. So she gets me to sit quietly for a moment with my eyes shut, then she starts to wail rather shamanically like a cat. Then she pours some thick syrupy liquid goo over my head and strats to rub it into my hair "Think of nothing" "Think of Nothing" - It is honey I realise as a small dribble lands on my lips. She then begins to slap me very hard on my cheeks shouting "release the demons !" I roar very loudly in an attempt to release the demons, trying to get into the spirit of the thing. The next minut Spiros is shaking me and slapping me, asking me what happened - I tell him everything is OK and crawl into a sticky bed - Sleep Sleep and Dreams Dreams.

The girl is crazy
She make me hazy
She do my head in
When she go mad mad mad

Sunday 17 December 2006

Olives for Christmas

Everyone will be getting Olives for Christmas. Petra and I have been out getting all sorts of live gifts for our friends and family. I have bought Olives with chillis and those lovely strong Greek black olives that Crespo do. Sending home will be late but it is the thought that counts - so Bob will get his finest green olives and extra virgin olive oil in the new year - plus the DVD of "Mighty Aphrodite" by Woody Allan - which is a film I like and has a Greek Chorus - so that is a bit Greek and I am away from my home in Barking and away from my balding friend Bob and his pregnant girlfriend Sharon with the curly blonde hair and the nice smile - loud farts - and interesting fetish for white tracksuits and pink bunnies. So anyway - buying a Woody Allan movie cheered me up and I did not want to spend the day just by Olives and Olive Oil although at the start of the shopping experience I thought that was a pretty neat idea. In the middle of the day at around 2 o'clock I got tired and we sat in a bar and drank two bottles of red wine, which was nice. Then we hit the Olives again. Petra's father will get masses - although he sounds quite frightening, with a sharp pointy beard and a feirce look (I saw a photograph Petra is carrying). I think Woody Allan liiks nicer and I think she would have been better off with Woody as her dad. Still Christmas is now sorted - great fun doing the shopping in Athens the people are very friendly. But we are going to have to get out of here soon. We have discussed staying in Greece for a bit - maybe splashing some money on a luxury Holiday or even a Greek Island Cruise Holiday or renting a Villa with Pool but it seems like the wrong time of year ! Hell, when you have a sweet girl like Petra on your arm choosing Olives (despite her rather sinister looking father) then who cares about it being Winter. Any way - Olives to pack !! Happy days.

Saturday 16 December 2006

Indie clothing

Last two days I been all over Athens trying to get some better gear. Petra thinks I need som Indie clothes advice and I have taken it to heart. Being a sensitive guy I cannot take too much criticism of my clothing, so I decide to buy into her world view on well cut shirts, trousers that are not baggy and decent shoes. It has been difficult but I managed to find some old worn out straight jeans that look pretty good (they were too long in the leg and Petra took them up for me, which was very nice of her - and suprising). I decided to wear deck shoes everywhere except when jogging and my T-shirts are Godzilla and an unusual one that proclaims that I have a drink problem in that I cannot get enough. Actually I have just thrown thta one out and bought 5 white T-shirs and I have bought some permenant ink markers and have already drawn all over 2 of them. One I have copied a face of Marylyn Monroe - you know, the actress who shagged everyone on set. The other one is an abstract involving a large rabbit like shape and a series of English words like HOME, and GET, and FUDGE and LIGHTBULB.

Petra has been quite a sport and seems to have enjoyed the last couple of days - in factshe is hanging over my shoulders now reading this, and I hav promised that she can write the next blog (maybe). Anyways - off to eat Lobster and drink White Wine (well I'll move on to red later) and then we will stroll. Speak - through the many faceted tongue of PEtra tomorrow - ciaou for now.

Thursday 14 December 2006

Freud alienated at the Acropolis

Apparently on his only visit to Greece, Sigmund Freud experienced brief but unsettling feelings of alienation as he stood on the Acropolis. I went back there today and I felt alienated. Lonely and fearing death. Some days it just gets to me that way and I suppose bumming around not working with too much time on my hands to do nothing much at all must be a contributing factor. So perhaps I should do some work - maybe bar work. I have never worked behaind a bar before bur how difficult can it be. I suppose there are drunken revellers hassling you all night but maybe I could get a job an a quiet bar on a quiet part of town. Its not like it booze city like Friday night in the centre of all our towns in England. So I drift down from the alienation feeling and into the practical - how do I go about getting a job ?. so I start entering bars and asking in English if they need staff. I just get a lot of shaking heads for two hours and head back to the hotel for a kip. Just as I am about to nip upstairs I hear Petra "Hey Boy !" -
"Hi Petra, do you want to come upstairs and drink some ouzo ?"
" Yes Boy that sounds idyllic "
We go up and I pour two large glasses mixed with tap water - no ice.
"Petra ? "
"Yes"
"What are you doing here in Athens ?"
" I am waiting to go to the islands, but I have just postpone it for a while because I have to wait now for some money to come into my account"
She laughed playfully and Wacked my knee, took a slug of Ouzo and suggested sex. Which we did for 3 hours and then both fell asleep. I phoned Bob later and he said I was a lucky bastard and that he was depressed because Sharon had gone all luvvy duvvy over her pregnancy and he was not so sure but I told him to get a grip, it was obviously what he wanted as well for Christ's sake - the grass is always greener eh ? I told him to take up yoga with Sharon and do all that baby in a tub business - he seemed to cheer up a bit and laughed when he said that they had had to cancel their horse riding holiday in Spain

Wednesday 13 December 2006

Black day in Athens, Greece

I've been in a black mood all day here in Athens. Bloody Athens - driving me nuts - Petra turns out to be unstable and I'm left wondering what an earth I am doing here. I eat three huge Kebabs- feel sick, drink a litre of lemonade. Ten Go to the Parthenon. Very nice and all that but I cannot help kicking walls and being annoyed. Go to a record store and buy a traditional Greek CD and go back to listen to it in my room. Spiros is waiting for me with his hulk face - syas I must pay up now or get out - I decide to hang on here fo another couple of days. I go to my room and listen to this: Album: Greek Songs Dances and Rembetiko - Artist: The Athenians and you lucky people can listen to exactly what I was listening to (or preview it anyway) at http://www.mp3.com/albums/389531/summary.html - I particularly like Jiati - there is something about it that makes me happy again to be here in Athens and not so BLACK in mood and sombre. - Perhaps tomorrow will be better. I do not vcall Bob - I do not want to depress him - so slowly I fall into a semi peaceful sleep and dream of skiing in france.

Tuesday 12 December 2006

Not such a good night in Athens

Petra durnk in Athens Greece December 2006
Its 10am in Athens and I am not going off to the islands with Petra and her crew. We met up as planned at a little bar and discussed Global Warming for an hour and then Globalisation over some more Vodka and Retsina. I ate my fish which unfortunately was covered in a coconut sauce which I was not partial to and Petra got very drunk quite early - about 9.30 and we had to help her to her room. she slammed the door shut in my face and I wandered out with Olly from Reading who said he hoped she would be fit for the ferry in the morning. I went back to my room at 11.30 and though about the whole Global Warming issue. Petra had been saying we should not fly because it used up so much Carbon and Olly was confusing me with his Carbon tax stuff and I was wondering how on earth it could work and I started to get a pain in my head. Global warming eh ? who would have thought that, we had a Cold War and now that has thawed out we are over heating and the Chinese and the Indians want to cash in on Techno living and are going Techno hardcore and they have plenty of capability to pump out more and more greenhouse gases and smoke and stuff. Fall asleep.


There is a lot of pollution in Athens I suddenly have a strong desire for some fresh air coupled with relaxation, luxury holidays in Greece , you know, a bit of pampering, the kind that only money can buy.


9am this morning: Then I imagine what Petra must be feeling like and I remember that she gave me her mobile number so I give Bob a call an ask him if he thinks I should give her a ring and he tells me that Sharon is pregnant. I ring Petra and she says:

"I was drinking too much last night, outta sight, was I embarrassing, I hope I did not bore you"

" Oh" I say "You went on a bit about the planet's problems, you know, you could lighten up a bit"

"BUT THIS IS VITALLY IMPORTANT YOU CRETIN" she shouts

"Yes but we were just having a quiet drink in a bar, we were not in Pariliament and I am not an MP"

"OK point taken you half panker"

"panker ?"

"Panker, plinker" she sounds confused

"you mean I am a PLONKER !" I say excitedly

"You said it" She laughs then sas she is going to be sick and hangs up.


I go back to bed - I need to sleep on this.

Monday 11 December 2006

Things are going to be just great !!

Really scrub down around 4pm using some soap with petals on it I got from the Body Shop at Gatwick. Then use a face mud pack - I must be dolling myself up for that Petra. she is blonde, long hair down below shoulders, kind but impish face and nature, German I think bit her English is really good. She wears a lot of beige cordueroy with zips and woollen bag (purple and crimson) and says things like " things are going to be just great !! why dont you hang out with us for a while". Us is some girls and a bloke I haven't seen yet, so obviously I hope they are OK too. Apparently tonight we are trying out a new liitle bar and then we'll maybe dance and then a backpackers party somewhere - before setting off to the Islands tomorrow. So scrub away SCRUB away the filth and dirt - scrape away the grease. Next I call Bob but my battery was flat and I just get a "hello" out of him. Next - more sleep. Must be refreshed and ready and willing !!


Then I draw quickly a sketch of Petra from memory and here is the result which I am quite pleased with - but not so pleased as to wish to show her, but I can keep a sketchbook of my adventures on the road and this can be sketch number one. My tooth strts aching and I gasp at the size of my toe nails, but then laugh because I have not got my clippers. Then I remember my Swiss Army Penknife - what a great thing if a bit broken, and I manage to waste a further 15 minutes clipping some very tough old yellowing toe nails. I look at myself in the mirror and see some spots and then wonder what to eat - fish maybe and I remember a photograph I saw recently of an absolutely huge catfish someone had caught in Spain it was absolutely huge. Maybe I should go fishing in Spain - that could be really great fun If I could bear getting so close to those wet slimy wriggly monsters, it could be a bit of a freak out.

Sunday 10 December 2006

Ray Quinn in the Final

Ray Quinn on Xfactor while I was in Athens
So, 10am this morning in Athens - go for a wander, start feeling a bit sick, call Bob and hear that little Ray Quinn (looking a bit green under the gills here I think even he would admit) and Leona have made it through to the Final of Xfactor - feel a bit glad I am not resorting to sitting in Barking wih chocolate (70% Cacao) and a strong Cabernet Sauvignon trying to get into Simon Cowell's vision and wishing that maybe I'd been brave enough to start betting heavily on these shows. I mean it was obvious really that little Ray would make it through wasn't it ?.

I eat some cheese, olives and drink a bottle of the finest Retsina (I only like that pine taste when I'm actually in Greece !) and, hooray, bump into that sweet Petra girl again at a busy junction and agree to meet up later on - she is off to the Islands tomorrow and she says I can tag along so that sounds good. I head back to my room. Fall asleep for two hours. Wake up and start writing down the places I'd like to visit on this long and hopefully not so lonely trip - I'd like to make it to see some Buddhist stuff in India which would be fun, and in Europe I'd like a bit of skiing in Italy if I can afford it, maybe in the Dolomites and perhaps I'll give Snowboarding a go.

Saturday 9 December 2006

Eyes popping out in a two star hotel in Athens

Crashed in Rafinikos 2 star hotel and had a long session of panic when I locked myself into the loo and could not get out. Made an almighty noise, in the end a huge hulk like man got the door open and looked angry at me - said something in Greek which probably resembled - you stupid English twat ! and I felt homesick . I gave Bob a call and he told me to keep my chin up. Later after a couple of Ouozo's alone in my room (peeling flowery wallpaper and a chipped Madonna on the wall) I got paranoid that I had been drugged with a strong dose of LSD. I kept thinking I was in Louisiana on a porch singing Cajun music - then the walls closed in on me and the flowery wallpaper became quite excitingly vivid and moved (well writhed would be a better description) around until it all became like the Day of the Triffids. I went through a huge thought process about self harm through drink, smoking and drugs and felt that I had better give up everything: but then the human body is often amazing at getting back together again after abuse. Still Health and Fitness could be a theme of this jouney. Several themes are now appearing, Cooking, Health, fun, partying, not working. But this weird feeling I had been drugged carried on for several hours - I rolled on the floor - took off all my clothes - charged around - sang Cajun (my interpretation of Cajun) music - listen to my IPOD - but changed the music all the time - never settling. One minute it was Jimmy Hendrix, the next it was Kylie Minogue. I felt at one point as if my eyes would pop out. Then I fell asleep. The next thing I know, it is the next day and a brand new start can be started right away. Damn - also missed that party that Petra had mentioned. Never mind there will be a lot more opportunities like that I am sure. Feeling Great!! after the long sleep.

Friday 8 December 2006

Dehydrated Mouth

When you are on holiday you can feel like Dracula sometimes
Spent 2 hours in Athens Airport with a very dehydrated mouth. Managed to get a Coke and felt better but then thought that things were getting pretty bad if I need a Coke to feel better. Perhaps a good dose of Natural Holistic Health would be a good idea. My hair feels thin and my big black boots were rubbing and my pants were chaffing. I gave Bob a ring but he groaned and told me to DOS off backwards.

I spent an hour after that in an Internet cafe ehre I drank several cups of strong coffee. I'm now talking to Petra who is backpacking her way round and she's told me about a good party tonight.

Dos Vi Danya - speak Domani babes...

Thursday 7 December 2006

Gatwick Airport

Gatwick Airport
I’m still here – chatting with Tanya who works at Nero’s at Gatwick Airport – and I also gave Bob a call at work and he said that he’d give anything to be in my shoes right now because work just got a whole lot worse at P & Q because of a shake up and the hours he’ll have to put in are frightening because a few key people are leaving including ME Esten - and things were not going to be so cushy anymore – which is hard for computer programmers because they can only do so much and then they burn out - so if you push them too hard they just burn out quick. They take careful management if you want to get the peak optimum out of them over a reasonably long career without frazzling them into an early retirement and shelf stacking at Sainsbury’s when the dream of a pig farm doesn’t quite come off (or chickens).


Anyway that made me feel good about leaving. No tears shed there – just have to waut for this damn flight to get re scheduled – and moveon from strong coffee to Lager and then wine and then more coffee and then vodka.

Flight - supposed to leave at 1.30 pm - finally leaves at 6.30pm. Who cares ? Not me I am a nice peaceful – take anything kind of guy and Mrs Banshott and her family of three boys between 10 and 16 are very nice and they are looking after me - chatting and I have played the Nintendo DS a few times and - the reading a book about germ warfare.

I used the toilets 8 times and bought some wet wipes because they were on offer. I looked in WH Smiths at a book on Holistic & Spa Holidays in Italy and made a few mental notes to get pampered – because of course massage and yoga and that kind of thing are supposed to be very good for you - although as a programmer I found it interesting that slouching is now considered to be very good for you as compared to sitting upright as they always seem to have said all these years of health and safety checkers coming round to assess your ergonomics at the desk.

The airport was very full and there were quite a few security police with guns. It looked like they had their hands on the triggers and on false move and you’d be wiped out, although they must be a bit more wary after killing that innocent Brazilian. You can imagine their pep talks – you know – don’t just shoot anyone – we have used up that ticket – we have to get vaguely guilty people now – the public are a bit more choosy now. Theres been plenty of blood gone under the bridge and they cannot afford to make one almighty Garfunkle of the situation again


Then I’m up in the clouds looking out over the sea and then just loads of fast white mist. I’m sitting next to Jock Ryder a guy who works in Germany on shop fitting teams – they move in quick and pride themselves on turning round jobs in 24 hours that others could take a week to do. He gets paid a lot and from what I could gather drank a lot of it away, but he did seem to love his wife and two kids. Jock had a sideline selling kitchen knives and he tried to entice me with his brochure, but I am he last one who needs to do much chopping – well unless I follow that idea of learning to cook in A Spanish , French Greek Italian or what about India – curries - I could become an expert curry maker.

So Esten falls asleep – that’s me falling asleep - and the white fuzz of the clouds whizzes pas and the soundtrack of my life plays backwards through my dozing ears and I dream of white chickens in great numbers. The coop is huge and the ground is arid and the chickens have trouble feeding and I am responsible for getting them enough food but there just does not seem to be enough on the ground or anywhere. Which becomes quite a worry and panic sets in

Wednesday 6 December 2006

Corfu Espresso Now !!

Today I go to Corfu Greece, and I expect a bit of luxury in Greece because I have paid for a couple of nights to kick off in a hotel. I shall be expecting some cheesy plate smashing and all that and also some women to at least chat with and then Spiro and his wife will pour some generous nightcaps before I sink into a peaceful calm. But all that will come later. First I had to call a cab to the station, and then to Victoria, I couldn’t get the automatic ticket machine to work and that annoyed me a bit but then – who cares I ‘m getting out of here. So then I sat on the train looking out of the window and thought about videos with views for trains – speeding countryside and films on trains and people who insist on going on life changing Rail Journeys in exotic places like the Tran Siberian express.

Tuesday 5 December 2006

Fly like a Bird in sky

I fall asleep with wine dribbling out of the side of my mouth and fully clothed (Blue Jeans – Levis 501 and a grey top form Next or Gap I cannot remember – I used to be a Gap Man but now I may even be a Marks and Spencers man because they seem to have pulled their socks up - and what stylish socks they can be – and underwear.)


This day that I, Esten Walker leave the UK - hoooooorrrrayyyy

So, I get myself up out of my fully clothed early morning nightmare and shower away the cobwebs and then shave – those battery powered wet shavers from Gilette are good but I really cannot afford those blades – I wince when I go in to the chemists or Superdrug or Tescos and they want to charge me over 10 quid for a few blades – so I shave with the one blade that came with this vibrating thing and actually it makes me realise that these multi blades really do last a long time because I’ve now been using the same blade for months and I can still get a decent shave from it. Maybe it is like the cutting edge power you are supposed to get if you sleep under a pyramid – this battery jolt of electricity is not only helping you to joggle out your facial hair but it is also magically keeping the blades super sharp . But anyway why would a few beard hairs wreck a blade in two shaves – the answer has to be deliberately crap blades – I mean these firms have got to make a living and its either £1.29p for 8 crap Bics and you do not mind doing that over and over again but it is painful on the chin not in the pocket - or a once in a blue moon purchase of an extravagantly expensive piece of wet shave equipment that still goes some way to satisfying the Gillette shareholders whoever they are. For all you out there who are desiring of an independent review or did not even realise that you wanted one but will quite enjoy one once you have read it here is an independent review -

This certainly gives a better shave than a conventional razor, maybe even more than Gillette's own mighty Mach3 range. What's more, so far the wife's loved it, saying that we not only looked younger, but were more kissable as well (result). The vibration for some reason works, and what's even better is that it is nice on the skin when you shave. Reports from Gillette suggest that this razor has done wonders in America exceeded all sales expectations and for the curiosity factor we can see why.

More at http://www.pocket-lint.co.uk/reviews/review.phtml/569/1593/gillette-m3power-razor-vibrating-shaving.phtml

Monday 4 December 2006

Flamenco and Wine and Nervousness

So now, I’m (that’s me Esten Walker) have finally told Bob and Sharon, that I’m off and tomorrow I fly to Greece and no doubt tomorrow I’ll be chatting and sharing an ouzo with a Spiros and ogling the local beauties on the island of Corfu. I have to pack and this bothers me, but hen I’ll just bung it all together last minute, Must not forget the camera so that all you Cyber Junkies can see the existential travellers adventures in colour – not that I can take many good photographs - it is a fact of life that any thought to take a shot of anything vaguely interesting is always too late and is very annoying.
So I open a bottle of the fineset Vino and put my feet up and hum a melody. Watch X factor and shine my shoes – feeling a bit nervous. This great leap into the unknown could be a bit much for my weak frame ut on the other hand I could learn a fw things – maybe Jamie Oliver style I will come back having learnt to cook in Portugal or reinvent myself as the Picasso of my generation in Spain after splashing paint around in some sexy artists studio in Andalucia. And that then gets me thinking about flamenco which I have always liked – and dig around on You Tube and find this which I think is very relaxed flamenco technique:

Saturday 2 December 2006

Esten - Thinks Rebel Rebel

David Bowie  - Rebel Rebel
You've got your mother in a whirl
Shes not sure if youre a boy or a girl
Hey babe, your hairs alright
Hey babe,
Lets go out tonight
You like me,
And I like it all
We like dancing and we look divine
You love bands when they're playing hard
You want more and you want it fast
They put you down, they say I'm wrong
You tacky thing, you put them on

So all this thinking about adventures in Spain or France or Italy or wherever got me humming Rebel Rebel and I like that kind of stuff, you I like bands when they play it hard - and all that so I tried to use it as inspiration and I ended up leaning towards Berlin - and getting into a art scene in Berlin, where I could express myself in a number of ways that involve staying up late in clubs with dripping newspaper and white faces with blood red lips, smoke and bad attitudes to Heroine etc - I think I was going down a blind alley - but better than some alleyways in Barking and so I phoned Bob - and he said I should just take a chance on chance and see what happened and this I suppose is what I am doing.

Miniscule trial run for Esten in Valencia

Saxaphone man in Valencia on my tiny trial run for bumming around Europe
So, I did a trial run the next weekend and Easy Jet took me to Valencia where I sat in a lot of cafes on my own and I tried to work out an angle. This guy here tootles a tune for a long time on his saxaphone and I wrestled with how I'd be - you know - not working - just bumming around Europe or Greece or whatever and - yes of course with money but, on my own. I didnt want to resort too much to alcohol and yet it was all too easy. Then I tried dancing a bit moronically at a few Euro clubs - but mosty of the time I watched all these families having big social meals in restaurants and I could not find my angle - So I thought I'd have to try harder. It was a bit lonely, and Bob was not going top be around - and I was glad not to be doing this with a girlfriend because it felt like I may be getting on to something.


So you see, it was a bit depressing that trial run, but it was such a tiny trial run - a miniscule pin prick of trial that I couldnt help thinking (and I was going to be doing a lot of that - because brains ten towards thinking when they have nothing better to do) that it did not matter.


Valencia was something I had to go through - so like a mincer and a mangler Valencia prepared me. Lets see I thought.

Friday 1 December 2006

Esten needs SunShine !

So, I (I am Esten Walker, hello there !) walk out of the door and see an old lady and she says to me,

"You need a holiday son" - you need to go somewhere" (and I will put links in occasionally of good sites where I can find this kind of information or other interesting stuff)

You see I know this lady - she is Patricia Barker and she lives on the same street as me in my home town here in UK - Barking.

So anyways - that starts me off thinking - well she could be right so I go to Suzy in the cafe and I order my coffee - you see its my day off from the job in IT (computing for you who dont know - you see I program like a mighty pen and the bosses like the way I do it quick - not always nice but quite often does the job)

Suzy has plaits, and she is quite nice to me - and sometimes Bob andrews who works in the office and who knocks around with me when he feels like it and his girlfriend Sharon Marks is run off home with her mum ( I like her mum - she always has a good nose round everything and everyone and is suspicious of everything - as if I had a gun or something - when all I do is the honest things like going down the shops or playing pitch and putt or drinking occasionally. Well a fair bit I suppose - mostly with Bob, but sometimes I have a bottle of Hungarian Wine on my own if the mood takes me - which is quite often really.)

So I says to Suzy - do I need a holiday ? and she laughs - WEee allll neeeed holidays - !! she says - Well where ? -

I'm biased - she says, I - part Greek and my hubby is part Greek and so - she leaves a gap - I say Greece.

I sit down with my Nescafe and try to do my sums - and all this happened 3 months ago - so I think I remember calling Bob on the mobile and checking what he thought and whether just maybe he was up for a break in Greece or some such sunny land (it was May and even though it was not that pleasant a day in Barking UK - I imagined it would probably be a scorcher in Greece) but Bob was not into it, because Sharon Marks was going with him later in the year to Tenerife and that would be his annual leave up the spout not to mention cash

So, I had a bit odf a brain flash and thought how nice it would be just to sod off on my own for a bit and perhaps take in Greece and maybe somewhere else and one thing led to another and I was doing my sums - and I often sit and do quite complicated sums in my head or on scrapso of paper because they quite excite me - especially if they are to do with money. These sums went quite wild and soon the possibilities became obvious and I wondered why I hadnt thhought of it earlier - here I was a 32 year old man boy with no ties and a girlfriend was a thing of the past - over 6 months past and I do not want you to think out there in Cyber Junky Land - you addicts - that I am a sad loser type who never stood a chance in the pairing it off with a woman stakes - but these days we are doing it later and one of my mates at work is over 40 and he has just had his first kid - and his wife is 25, and he seems quite happy. So he'll be about 58 when the kid comes of age and you see he doesnt smoke (drinks quite a bit but then dont we all ? ) and we are all living longer you know - if we are not all killed off by Global Warming, but then that'll be nearly all of us and who cares then - how do you explain that to the kids ? - still I can wait - there is time yet, I do not have a clock thing ticking in my abdomen - relax take your time - have a Hamlet cigar moment - life lasts for ever - it is eternal up until it finishes.

Greece - or the Greek Islands were a good idea - thats the best idea I had been given for a long time - but now I was thinking big. Quit the contract at P & Q Reliant, Sell the flat (maybe £100, 000 profit - Sell for £220,000 mortgage only £110,000 - factor in some costs and a loan to pay off and then BANK !) I was getting excited then - dribbling coffee - of course I'd thought of it many times before - but not seriously - I suppose Mum and Dad dying had triggered a late change in the chemical make up last year (car crash - near Barking - Dad driving and drunk NO DOUBT although we had been told nothing). My sister is older than me - Betty Dryden nee Walker of course and she had been as cut up as me - and we had to go trough that whole greiving thing together - but now she is back with hubby in Norwich and I only speak to her on the phone once or twice a month. I think she's OK now - -her husband Michael is nice enough - a stage manager at a local theatre - he can build sets really quick and shouts at people).

So thats how I decided to up sticks and shake my life down like a pet blanket. Get rid of the cobwebs out of my hair -and start celebrating life again.